I want to preface this post with this word: I wrote this a while back, prior to having major surgery. I want you to know not one part of it is intended to bring any praise or attention to myself. I give God all the credit and glory and I hope you can see His awesomeness in how he has blessed me!
“How are you feeling? Are you nervous?” “I had no idea!”
I’m feeling fine. Nervous? Nah, piece of cake. And my response to the last exclamation-well, it’s not like I go about my life telling everyone I come in contact with that my husband needs a kidney transplant and I am so wonderful that I’m giving him mine. To be honest, I don’t really think about my end of it much. It was a no-brainer when I tested in the beginning. The day we found out we passed the first test was one of the happiest days of both our lives. As the next month passed, and I completed test after test after test (sometimes the same one twice), all I could think about was how my husband’s life was going to change. For the first time in years he would feel like a normal human being again. What a gift I could give him!
The “love chapter” in the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13, speaks of what love is not. It is not boastful. It is not proud. And it is not self-seeking. There is not one thing I am getting for myself out of this, except a new life with my husband (and 8 weeks of recovery with him). There is a reason I have been purposefully keeping my focus on him.
Does It Matter What We Think? What if I spent the last month focusing on what this surgery meant for me physically? How much stress and anxiety would I have felt? Maybe so much so that I would have reconsidered my decision and backed out of giving my husband this gift. After all, the transplant team at the hospital reminds me multiple times whenever I’m there for an appointment that I do not have to proceed. I can back out at any time. Even the day of surgery, up until they fill my body with anesthesia. But instead of thinking about what might turn into great fear, I am choosing to think about the good of others.
What if I let my thoughts wander the other way, and allow pride to rule. Love is not boastful, right? If I permitted myself to soak in all the compliments and “thank you’s” and praise I was hearing, I’d be doing this for the exact opposite reason.
No, this beautiful gift I can give him is just that. A gift. And I will tell you, this is one battle that’s been pretty easy for my mind to fight. I think a large part is due to the fact that whenever someone brings it up to me, God has helped me train my mind to respond with a focus on someone else. Even when I haven’t been tempted to reflect on the praise I received. The Bible tells us our thoughts become our words and actions, and I truly believe that. I also believe the verse that talks about speaking things that aren’t as though they were. This includes our actions. I challenge you today, in whichever area you struggle in, whether it’s your thoughts or your words, to ask God to help you be mindful of that area and to give you the tools you need to fix it. The freedom you will feel is beyond words!